| | Making Love Again: Hope for Couples Facing Loss of Sexual Intimacy
List Price: $24.95
Amazon Price: $8.00
Average Customer Rating:  (12 reviews)
Editorial Review: Each year in this country, 30 million men and their partners are robbed of an essential part of their lives when they are faced with sexual dysfunction due to diabetes, prostate cancer, an injury or psychological reasons. Many desperately want advice, but are too embarrassed to broach the subject with a doctor or even with each other.
In their timely and medically recognized book, Making Love Again, Virginia and Keith Laken give hope to these individuals who, like themselves, want to "feel normal" again.
Virginia tells the story of how she and her husband have dealt with his sexual dysfunction, brought on by a radical prostectomy at the age of forty-nine. She reveals the solutions that have brought them closer together, and offers further resources and support groups that can be found on both the Internet and through local and national organizations.
Making Love Again proves that it is possible to break free of one's pre-conceived ideas about sex, and to o...
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Customer Reviews:
Summary: read this book together
Content: This book is written by a husband and wife who continue to experience permanent impotence as a result of prostate cancer sugery. The book is structured like a "diary" with dated entires over a several-year period written separately by both husband and wife who are honest about their fears, disappointments and frustrations. It does not dwell on the surgery itself, but focuses on the post-surgical successes and disappointments as they try to engage in sexual relations using various options. It focuses on the loving relationship between the spouses, but it is also realistic about sexual needs -- from both partners' perspectives.
My husband is a young 65 and I am 46; we read this book out loud together about 9 months post-prostatectomy surgery, and it was tremendously helpful to both of us. After the surgery, the doctor had told us that impotence was unlikely in our situation, so we were not prepared for it. The book was particularly helpful with dealing with the disappointment we both felt in this regard. The book also helped us to see that most couples have to struggle with several alternatives for intimacy over a lengthy period and that not every option works for every couple.
The book was not at all preachy, but instead was subtly encouraging to my husband to be open to trying a wide variety of options that we probably would not have considered otherwise. (It does not suggest anything kinky). It gave us information that allowed us to resume [drug-induced] intercourse, which we believed was physically impossible.
A big relevation for me was that impotency is not always an "all or nothing" concept. I had no idea how discouraging it can be for a male who simply doesn't know whether he can or cannot physically perform -- or whether he will ever be able to.
The theme of the book is not to quit looking for satisfactory ways to experience intimacy and sexuality -- whatever that may look like in your personal situation. It does discuss a very intimate topic, but it does so in an honest way and it was not as difficult to read outloud together as I had expected. It gave us detailed information that we did not know and that we would never have felt comfortable asking for from our physician. Having read the book, we knew what the doctor was talking about when he suggested various options.
I definitely recommend this book, regardless of the reason for the impotence issues. I think it would be most useful for a couple -- it is written by and for heterosexual couples, but it would be equally applicable to homosexual couples as well. In my opinion, the book would be less useful for singles, although it could be helpful for a single female who is considering or is in a relationship with a male with impotence issues.
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